Reflections on Mother's Day

I was just thinking yesterday that it's hard to remember life without kids now that we are almost three years into parenthood, but Mother's Day makes me remember life before Alexis, Jack, and Faith. I wanted kids for years before we actually decided to have a family, and then we struggled with infertility for two years before getting pregnant.

Triplets have been intense. Going from wanting one baby to having a house full of babies is overwhelming, and there have been many days that I've wished we only had one baby at a time (not that it was a choice!). But Mother's Day is a day that I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for our three beautiful children.

I understand that there are many women that are longing to have children and Mother's Day is hard for them. I know all too well what it's like because I spent years longing for children and feeling great disappointment, and the feelings were even more intense on Mother's Day. I want to be sensitive to others' struggles and losses, but at the same time I want to shout to the world how much I love my children and how thankful I am to be able to celebrate my own Mother's Day.

In reality, Mother's Day with three almost 3-year-olds is no vacation. Although Micah is doing all of the cooking and housework, the kids want me to do things for them like change their diaper, help them go potty, and buckle them in their car seats. Although I'd love to have the day off as an observer and have Micah do it all so I can just enjoy the kids, the reality is that a lot of these things just aren't worth the battle, so I do it.

My three requests for the day were a morning run, photos with the kids, and a lemon drop martini tonight. Two of these things have already happened, and we have the ingredients for the third, so I can count my Mother's Day as a success.

I know many moms are not celebrated as well as they should be on Mother's Day for many reasons. Life happens. Husbands don't know what to do. Kids aren't cooperative. But I'm realizing that Mother's Day, at least for me, is not as much about having the day off and getting gifts as it is a time to step back and realize how fortunate I am to have three children who call me Mommy (even if they often yell "Mommy!! Mommy!!" over and over again).

I feel fortunate to have many wonderful moms in my life to emulate including my mom, my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law, women from church, and all of my mommy friends. This is a tough job, but I am thankful to have others who have gone before me and who are in the trenches with me. Happy Mother's Day!

Alexis on the left, Faith on the right

Potty Training Hiccups

I've heard several times that there are two things a toddler can control: 1) What s/he eats and 2) going potty. Our kids must have heard this statement too, because they are all finicky eaters and they definitely have their own ideas about using the potty.

PREP:
I was told by several friends that potty training will be "easier" if we waited until our kids were close to 3, so that's what we did. I felt like the girls were ready to use the potty for several months (I wasn't as confident about Jack), but I knew it would take a lot of time and effort on my part so I wanted to wait until they were really, really ready before we carved out the time to do it. So when they were 33 months old (about four weeks ago) Micah and I cleared our weekend and committed to both being home Saturday and Sunday with the goal of potty training our trio.

The week before we started potty training I did a lot of prep work. I got the potties ready, I made sticker charts, I bought a variety of drinks so that the kids would be pumped full of fluids so that they would pee more, I bought new cups, I laid out towels so that accidents wouldn't get on the carpet and furniture, I put out the underwear bins so that the kids could have fun choosing what to wear, I thought of a bunch of activities so that we would be entertained at home for most of the first week, and I got all of the laundry done so that we could focus on the kids. Potty training prep itself was exhausting!

POTTY TRAINING METHOD:
There are several schools of though on potty training, and we decided to go with the three day "boot camp" method. We felt like it would be easier overall if we put all of our time and effort into potty training for a few days, rather than dragging it on and on for weeks and months.

Our plan was to have the kids wear just underwear during the day and to put diapers back on for naps and night time, but ultimately each kid did his or her own thing as some liked to be naked from the waist down, some liked undies, and some preferred pants. Ultimately it didn't matter to us what they were (or were not) wearing, as long as they were having some success on the potty.

We also went with the method of watching them like a hawk and then getting them to the potty as soon as they started going, as opposed to dragging them there every 15 or 20 minutes and hoping they went. Since our kids are almost 3 and they are able to communicate well, this worked great for us. They also caught on very quickly so mostly they got themselves to the potty. I also believe our kids would have been very resistant to us putting them on the potty so often as we have strong-willed children. After every potty success we gave the kids M&M's and a sticker for their chart, in addition to letting them flush the toilet themselves.

Although most people would say that the potties should be in the bathroom so that the association is there, our downstairs bathroom is really small and we didn't feel like this would work very well, so we lined up the potties in the kitchen. Before having kids this would have grossed me out, but the practicality of it outweighed the "ewe factor," so I just went with it. We also have a couple of inserts that go on the regular toilet so that the kids can decide between their own potty or the big potty.

THE FIRST WEEK:
Originally I believed we would only be stuck at home for a few days, and then we would get back to our normal routine of doing things outside of the house. I was very naive in thinking it would click quickly and, although everyone did fairly well in the first week, going out in public with potty training triplets is exhausting, so for the most part we stayed home for a whole week.

During the first week, I recorded every success and accident, which was a lot to record, and it took me back to the early days when I recorded every diaper, every bottle, and every other little things that the babes did since it is so hard to keep track of it all when there are three babes! Here are the stats from the first week:

Day 1 (26 opportunities)
Lexi: 12 successes, 2 accidents
Jack: 3 successes, 4 accidents
Faith: 3 successes, 2 accidents
*Micah and I were both home

Faith and Jack with their new cups

Alexis drinking a smoothie with post nap hair

The girls soaking in the sun

Day 2 (22 opportunities)
Lexi: 11 successes, 2 accidents
Jack: 1 success, 4 accidents
Faith: 2 successes, 2 accidents
*Micah and I were both home

We tried to get a couple of small projects done at home while we were stuck there

Day 3 (19 opportunities)
Lexi: 7 successes, 2 accidents
Jack: 2 successes, 2 accidents
Faith: 4 successes, 2 accidents
*I was alone with the kids during the day

Sticker faces. The kids enjoyed this and I thought their results were amusing.

Day 4 (20 opportunities)
Lexi: 5 successes, 3 accidents
Jack: 3 successes, 1 accident
Faith: 8 successes, 0 accidents
*Val came over and we did our running swap, so I had 25 minutes alone outside of the house while she watched the kids for me. Micah climbed at night so it was a long day.

Day 5 (35 opportunities)
Lexi: 14 successes, 2 accidents
Jack: 1 success, 2 accidents
Faith: 15 successes, 1 accident
*Our early intervention therapists came over for a while in the morning and they brought fun activities, which was great since we had been stuck at home for 5 days and everyone was getting stir crazy. I got to get out of the house at night to climb.

Hooray for company and new activities!

Day 6 (25 opportunities)
Lexi: 13 successes, 2 accidents
Jack: 3 successes, 1 accident
Faith: 5 successes, 1 accident
*We had a couple of toddler friends and their moms over for a playdate in the morning. It was hard to hold a conversation while assisting the kids with the potty, but I was definitely grateful for the company. 
** OUR FIRST OUTING: Almost every Thursday we have dinner with our Community Group from church, so we ventured out to their house in the evening. There were a couple of pee accidents there, but luckily they happened outside and I knew everyone in the group would understand since they all have kids.

Day 7 (24 opportunities)
Lexi: 12 successes, 1 accidents
Jack: 4 successes, 3 accidents
Faith: 4 successes, 0 accident
*Micah had the opportunity to climb outside with a friend, so Val and her boys came over during the morning and we did another running swap and we dyed eggs with the kids.

Egg dyeing

The kids were excited about potty training at first, and overall things went great for both girls during the first week and we were very encouraged. Jack doesn't drink as much as the girls which means he doesn't have to pee as much, so it took him longer to recognize the feeling that he had to go.

We did put them all in diapers at nap and night time, but Lexi woke up dry from most naps and after a few nights she started waking up dry in the morning as well (although she woke up at least once during every night because she had to use the potty, so we were getting interrupted sleep).

THE SECOND WEEK:
During the second week we started to get out of the house a little bit. My mom came to town for a few days so I had some help, and we conquered the Botanic Garden and the zoo with only one accident. There were a ton of potty breaks, of course.

Botanic Garden

Zoo

A FEW WEEKS IN:
As time went on, though, it became apparent that although Jack was catching on like a potty pro, but the girls were becoming very resistant. The more I encouraged them to use the potty, the more they resisted, and the more frustrating potty training became. Over the last couple of weeks the resistance has gotten worse, which has been very stressful for me since I can't make them use the potty. Interestingly, they are more likely to use the potty when we are out of the house, which means I take numerous trips to the bathroom when we leave the house, but at home they don't want to do it.

We are now at the end of our fourth week of potty training and the girls are taking a break from it all. I am so thrilled that Jack is doing great with it all, and I know the girls have the ability to use the potty since they are great at recognizing the feeling and holding it, but it was getting to the point where they were holding it forever and they were in pain but refusing to use the potty, so I had to put them back in diapers. I don't believe they are fearful of the potty or that there was a specific trigger that made them both do this. I believe it all comes down to the fact that toddlers can't control many things in their lives and this is something that they can control, no matter how much we try to persuade them and bribe them.

I'm not sure how long the break will last, but I am hopeful that they will soon decide that they want to use the potty once and for all and that will be the end of the potty training stress. In the meantime, I am going to try to give them more choices throughout their day and I'll give them the option to use the potty if they want to use it, but I will stop pressuring them and reminding them to use it as the stress wasn't good for any of us.

Hooray for Jack! He surprised us all and I hope he doesn't revert back when he sees the girls in diapers as it feels good to have at least one child out of diapers during the day!

Easter 2016

This post is a bit belated as I've been busy with Treasurer duties for the Albuquerque Mothers of Twins Club and of course our potty training chaos, but I wanted to do a short post about Easter 2016 before the details were forgotten.

My mom wanted to come to ABQ for a short visit, and it just so happened that Easter weekend was the best time for her. She was supposed to fly in on Saturday night, but unfortunately her first flight was delayed which meant she would not make her connection, so she ended up rescheduling for early Sunday morning. Although she had to leave her house super early on Sunday, the new flight ended up working just fine for us as she landed around 9:30 a.m., which meant we could pick her up on our way to church on Easter morning.

Alexis, Jack, and Faith dressed for church and ready to pick up Grandma from the airport

Since we started potty training the weekend before Easter, we decided to keep the kids in the church service with us instead of putting them in the nursery. This was our first time in a public place since we started potty training, so we weren't sure how the kids would do and we didn't want to add the burden of running our kids to the bathroom since our church nursery tends to be really busy. Also, I figured the kids would be happier in church with Grandma than hanging out in the nursery. Although it was hard for me to pay attention to the sermon due to running kids to the bathroom (Grandma took turns running them there as well), overall everyone did well being relatively quiet and content during church and we didn't have any potty accidents!

After church I quickly set up a backyard Easter egg hunt for the kids while Micah made a simple lunch. Before letting the kids search for the eggs I gave them their Easter baskets. I definitely didn't get them much for their baskets, but it was still fun to fill them and the kids always enjoy getting new stuff. They all enjoyed hunting for eggs, although Faith was definitely the most into it.

Stickers, socks, Olaf suckers, and an egg filled with jelly beans. Our dyed eggs are in the background and the kids also colored the white eggs at the bottom of their baskets.

Jack

Faith 

Alexis

Checking out their loot

After the kids and Grandma napped (she was exhausted from her early morning flight), we made an easy Easter dinner of ham, green beans, red skin potatoes, rolls, and fruit, and we had cheesecake for dessert. We then went on a walk around the neighborhood, which the kids thoroughly enjoyed.

Walking down a trail in our neighborhood

It was definitely a low-key Easter, but it was great to have my mom in town as it made the day more memorable.

Loft Makeover

About a week ago we decided to remove the gate from our stairs. This is big news at our house as we have almost always kept our kids within sight since toddlers get into a lot of trouble and our three tend to fight often (one minute they are getting along great and everyone is happy, and the next minute they are biting or tearing each other's hair out...literally). Also, we didn't quite trust them on the stairs alone until recently. In the last couple of months, though, I've realized that they are proficient at the stairs and as they approach age 3 they are becoming more independent, so Micah and I decided that we would take the gate down once we had a couple of weeks of potty training under our belts. The kids were excited when we took it down and they mention the lack of gate often, but I have been surprised with how infrequently they go upstairs without us. I think they are just so accustomed to being near a parent, so going upstairs alone seems odd. I'm sure this will change eventually as I'm trying to encourage them to spread out in the house more and play independently of one another. Micah and I are definitely appreciating not having to squeeze through the gate on the stairs as it was a little awkward, especially when carrying something like a big load of laundry.

The kids loved to hang out on the bottom three steps that they had access to from the main floor. They loved to lay on the steps and pretend each step was a bed.

Micah taking the gate down. 

Happy kids without a gate to hold them back!

On the same day that we took down the gate, we did a mini makeover of our loft space. We have an awkward space at the top of our stairs that hasn't had a real purpose in 1.5 years. For the first six months that we lived here we kept the Rock n Plays up there along with the bottle warmers, and we fed our babes in that area. I loved having that space for feeding since it was out of sight because three Rock n Plays take up so much room and three bottle warmers take up a lot of counter space. But since we took away the Rock n Plays and bottle feedings, the area has been a junk collector. We had the kids' dressers in there since we didn't want anything that they could climb on in their bedrooms, plus they liked to pull all of the clothes out of the dressers which is quite frustrating, and we also kept boxes of diapers and wipes up there. But now that the kids are better about not taking the clothes out of the drawers and we don't need so many diapers on hand since we are potty training, it was time to repurpose the space.

My friend Megan reading to the babes in the loft while they drank their bottles in July 2014. 

Happy babies post bottle in the loft.

I had been thinking about what I wanted to do with the space for awhile, so with Micah's help it didn't take very long to set everything up. It isn't perfect as some day I would like to paint the shelves and such, but for now I think it is a nice space. Now to convince the kids that they can play up there without me being within 10 feet of them.

The dollhouse is now in the loft along with the art supplies, the kid table, and an area to display our art. I painted the two flower canvases at Paint and Wine Nights, and now I have a good place to display them!

We still have the gate that separates the loft and the bedroom area as it helps keep everyone contained at bedtime. I converted a bookcase that we already had into a dress-up closet / art supplies storage area. Some day I'll paint it (if I ever find the time!). We had the long mirror downstairs (on the wall the long way) so the kids could look at themselves when they were smaller since they rarely got to see themselves in a mirror, but it was placed too short for them now so I moved it upstairs so that they could see themselves in their dress-up clothes.

Another view of the loft. The stairs are just beyond the railing.

I'm so happy with how it turned out!

Kids Say the Darndest Things: Part 2

Alexis, Jack, and Faith continue to surprise us with the things they say. They definitely repeat some of the things we say, especially Faith, and there is so much going on in their little heads. Here are some of the things they've said in the last month:

Faith:

• I can't believe my life! (random comment after successfully putting her train together)
• Daddy goes to work to buy us special juice 
• Lexi is being ridiculous (when Lexi didn't want to go down for a nap)
• I'm going to hang my toes here (she took her shoes off while riding in the cart at Target)
• Underwear makes me crazy (this is how she felt when we first started potty training, but she has gotten used to wearing them)
• I have four hands so... (trying to copy what I say because I often tell the kids that I only have two hands so I can't do it all)
• I really WANT to kick you mother mommy (after I told her not to kick me while we were sitting on the couch)
• I have a question...(she says this all of the time and then she'll give an activity idea such as play dough)
• What are you thinking about?
• Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
• You hopeless mommy? (after I sighed and put my head down during yet another mini fit)
• Are you kidding me? (random comment to me when I was getting their snack ready)
• That's her child? (when she saw a pic of someone she knew with her daughter)
• I want to fluff the kitty (her word for petting our cat Sienna)
• You did a good job taking care of the babies. (to Micah and I after working in the church nursery today)

Faith "playing" the toy violin

Alexis:

• They're singing about Jesus (when listening to music in car)
• I have two muscles
• That's yucky. That's disgusting. (about prune juice)
• I love you all! (over and over at dinner)
• I love you mommy. I love you daddy. I love my doggy. (she says this all of the time)
• Daddy is the greatest daddy ever! (random comment one day)
• Jackie's strong, isn't he? (after he opened the door from the garage)

Lexi loves to carry her kitty in her shirt like this and it reminds me of the "kangaroo care" we did in the NICU with our babes

Jack: 

• Keep vacuuming! (when I stopped vacuuming to help him with something)
• (I said, "Jack stop. No one's laughing," when he was blowing raspberries with his mouth and making a mess. His response while laughing...)  "Haha, I am!"
• Mom, do you have a lawn mower? (random comment when I was changing his diaper one night way after his bed time)
• Wipes cost money! (out of the blue at breakfast. He tends to pull them out of the package and waste them.)
• I want a leaf blower right now. (random comment while watching a show)
• I need a baritone (after watching a video of his 10-year-old cousin Brayden playing his)
• You have a engine? (random comment while driving in the car)
• I drive grammy's car backwards (he is obsessed with driving)
• Hi. It's me Grandma. It's Tuesday night. (when talking on a pretend phone)
• I'm going to drive you to the doctor. You sit in the front seat. (talking to Micah when he was sick)
• For awhile one day he kept referring to Faith as Mommy. She does tend to be the most "motherly" so it was kind of funny.

Strumming a guitar is still one of Jack's favorite things to do

Some Days Are Just Hard

I try not complain too much about my "bad days," at least not publicly, but today was one for the books. Jack had a blood draw scheduled at the infusion center at 9:30 this morning. This was the first count since he received IVIG two weeks ago, and we were really hoping his platelets would be up from the treatment. Around midnight last night, though, I woke up to Jack crying and I quickly realized that he had a nosebleed. Jack doesn't usually get nosebleeds, and unfortunately nosebleeds can indicate low platelets, so I slept badly the rest of the night as I was now concerned that Jack's body didn't respond to IVIG as we had hoped (plus both girls also woke up at different times during the night...yikes!).

In the morning everything went relatively smoothly and we got out of the door on time for our appointment. Right around 9:30 we were called back by the nurse. I told her about the nosebleed and after talking to the doctor she said we had to get an IV in Jack just in case he needed platelets. I felt like this was the right call since it's better to poke Jack once to get an IV in and do the blood draw at the same time, rather than poke him for the blood draw and then again if an IV is necessary. In theory, going with an IV is a conservative approach even though it may be unnecessary in the end (sometimes I feel like putting in an IV for Jack is like bringing along an umbrella to keep it from raining...it's good luck of sorts).

The kids in the waiting room at the infusion center. These appointments have become so routine for us that the girls are excited to go as the nurses and other staff are familiar, and there are fun toys to play with.

Although it is St. Patrick's Day today, the nurses and Jack were all having very bad luck. Over the next two hours Jack was poked a total of nine times by four different nurses, just to get the tiny amount of blood needed for a CBC. It was pure torture for Jack as he's usually pretty tough and calm through the process, although he always cries which is understandable, but by the fourth poke he was getting mad and by the ninth poke he was furious. It was also pure torture for me, since it's my job to hold him down on my lap and try to convince him to hold still during the nine pokes. Awful. I wanted to cry along with him. Usually I have a pretty good perspective on Jack's blood disorder since I see so many cancer patients when we go to the infusion center, but today I was feeling really sorry for Jack and myself as it sucked. No one should have to get poked nine times within a two hour window, and no mommy should have to hold her child down during the process.

Fortunately, the girls were keeping themselves entertained throughout this very long process by playing with the toys in the infusion center, watching parts of a movie on my iPad, eating snacks, and people watching. The infusion center only has a few private rooms, so today we were in the more public common area, and there were a few other patients in there as well. At one point I had to run over to the girls across the room to break up a fight (they were literally wrestling on the tile floor and all of the other adults in the room were shocked and staring), but for the most part they were very well behaved.

After Jack's blood was finally drawn around noon without placing an IV (lucky poke number nine!), we went downstairs to Subway since it was lunch time. I was so exhausted and hungry, I don't think I made eye contact with any of the onlookers (we tend to draw a crowd with our wagon). We went back to the infusion center to eat our lunch at a kid table. Jack's lunch consisted of a chocolate chip cookie, but I really didn't care as I felt so bad for him since he had such a horrible morning. Thankfully, the preliminary results of the blood draw came back while we were finishing lunch and his platelets were at 83,000. Not quite as high as I had hoped (normal is 150,000-400,000), but at this point I didn't even care as at least it meant that Jack didn't need a platelet transfusion and we could go home.

Of course, two of the three kids had poopy diapers that needed to be changed now that it was time to leave, and no one wanted to leave (go figure!), so it took us forever to actually head back to our car. Alexis got really upset about the diaper change and being forced to leave, so the entire wagon ride through the hospital, down the street, and through the parking lot she was crying and saying, "Daddy! Daddy! I miss my Daddy!" over and over again. People would start to smile when they saw the wagon full of two-year-olds, but as soon as they heard Alexis crying for her daddy their smiles turned to concerned looks as they were probably thinking her daddy was in the hospital. It took everything in me not to burst out laughing like a crazy person as I pulled the wagon to the car. The morning was just too long and stressful, and this tantrum along with the concerned stares was the icing on the cake.

On the 20 minute drive home I had to alternate between singing at the top of my lungs and rolling the windows down to keep the kids awake. I needed the break during nap time today, and nothing was going to get in my way! Although the nap was an hour late so night time might be difficult again, thankfully two of the three are now sleeping and I'm hopeful the third will fall asleep soon too.

Being a mommy is hard. Being a mommy to three two-year-olds is very hard. Being a mommy to three two-year-olds while at a ridiculously long doctor's appointment where one of the children is basically being tortured while mommy holds him down is unimaginable. Is it the weekend yet?

Life Lessons with Triplets: Sharing is Not Always Worth the Battle

Trying to teach triplet two-year-olds to share is an uphill battle. Since they don't fully understand the concept of sharing, I am really just dealing with the aftermath from taking a toy from a toddler. There is crying. Lots of tears. And screaming. And although one child is happy because he or she now has the prized toy, there are one or two others that are throwing a fit. When sharing is absolutely necessary, I use the timer on my phone to make it "fair," but honestly it doesn't help much since it seems so unfair to the two-year-olds. So, although I know it is very important for children to learn to share, sometimes it is simply not worth it for me since I deal with sharing issues all day long.

There are certain things in life that triplets must share, such as their mommy. Today in music class I had a lot of "triplet mom guilt" as all three wanted to sit on my lap and they weren't very happy sharing my lap with each other. All of the other children in the class were there with one or two caregivers, and no siblings, and of course those children were mostly content participating in class and they didn't really care about sitting on a lap. But Alexis, Jack, and Faith almost never have their mommy or daddy to themselves, and some days that is really hard for them to handle.

For the most part, we make sure the kids have three of everything and that those items are assigned by color whenever possible. This cuts down on a lot of fights, which keeps me sane. But last fall I bought the kids one small train set from Ikea thinking that would be sufficient, but I was wrong. There are simply not enough pieces in that train set to share, so we weren't able to play with it for months. For Christmas, Micah's parents bought the kids a couple of more train sets to supplement the original set, but that didn't solve the sharing problem since the kids wanted all of the train pieces to themselves and they would hog the tracks. So when I went to Target today I bought three small plastic bins, I put an initial on each bin, I divided the tracks equally, and I assigned each child a train color. This solved the problem! Tonight Alexis, Jack, and Faith happily played with the tracks and trains from their own bin. Plus, they really seemed to enjoy putting away their personal train set at the end of the night since they had special bins. Triplet mommy win!!

Faith putting away her train set. Look at that organization! She gets that meticulousness from her daddy.

Jack happy to have his own train set.

Lexi trying on her train bin as a hat.

Three kids, three train sets. Life is good.